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Post by Nutcase65 on Sept 15, 2007 16:45:15 GMT -5
I stole this idea from another board, but I love it so much I want to share it with you guys.
What is the most useless superpower you can think of? Either already written or completely made-up?
for instance.
The power to project the sound of farting.
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Post by thew40 on Sept 15, 2007 18:51:45 GMT -5
The ability to burp without detection.
~W~
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shag
Force Works-er
The Irredeemable Shag!
Posts: 15
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Post by shag on Sept 16, 2007 0:19:18 GMT -5
The ability to always know where your bedroom slippers are.
Shag
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Post by The Night Phantom on Sept 16, 2007 9:54:32 GMT -5
In the classic New Universe series D.P. 7, writer Mark Gruenwald introduced a number of unusual “parabilities”. In the lettercol of #22, the editorial voice (the comic’s editor was Howard Mackie, but I don’t know if he was the actual author of the editorial commentary) asks:
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Post by Doctor Doom on Sept 16, 2007 11:26:38 GMT -5
There was a mutant who could see things in a slight tint of yellow.
Then you've got the awesome pre-Crisis Superman's abilities, like Super-Weaving and Super-Makeup. (For the record, the latter consisted of putting on a ski mask.)
Then there's Aquaman.
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Post by Doctor Bong on Sept 16, 2007 11:34:33 GMT -5
I hope you're joking about Aquaman, Doom...
And, just to be sure, we're talking about the original Aquaman, and not the replacement which was swimming around the DCU these days, right...?
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Post by Tana Nile on Sept 16, 2007 11:38:47 GMT -5
The most obvious choices to me are some of the Legion of Substitute Heroes:
1)Color Kid, who can change the color of anything. Somehow changing the color of things always confused the villain....I mean, we're not talking Prismatic Spray here (who gets that one?), we're talking changing colors of things! Would a purple sidewalk really cause you to become disoriented? Although changing the color of traffic lights could potentially cause some problems...
2)Stone Boy, who can become as hard as stone but totally immobile. I mean, he might make a good decoration, or you could use him to prop something up, but how the heck does he fight crime? It actually seems like the most cowardly power ever - "Oh no, there's Mordru, I'll just turn to stone so I don't have to deal with any of this!"
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Post by fyrehand on Sept 16, 2007 14:20:49 GMT -5
Prismatic Spray: 7th level dnd spell shoots out a fan of colors for various effects that are almost all bad for the target.
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Post by sharkar on Sept 16, 2007 20:03:23 GMT -5
The most obvious choices to me are some of the Legion of Substitute Heroes: 1)Color Kid, who can change the color of anything. Somehow changing the color of things always confused the villain....I mean, we're not talking Prismatic Spray here (who gets that one?), we're talking changing colors of things! Would a purple sidewalk really cause you to become disoriented? Although changing the color of traffic lights could potentially cause some problems... LOL! Very true... I recommend the recently issued LSH Showcase volume, which contains a few stories featuring the Substitute Heroes. They try so hard, and yet the Legion is very cruel to them.   As for Color Kid, his shining Silver Age moment came in Adventure #351. 40 year old SPOILER follows... Back in '66, some of the LSH's creative forces felt the Legion would be better served if Superboy and Supergirl left the team, to pave the way for more character development for the other Legionnaires. So, as a way of getting rid of them, E. Nelson Bridwell wrote a 2-issue story (Adventure #350-#351) in which a cloud of green kryptonite surrounded the earth or the galaxy (I forget which). Because the cloud could not be dissipated, and was deadly to the cousins, they were forced to resign from the Legion in #350. Superboy and Supergirl's memories of the Legion were erased and they were sent on their merry way back to the 20th century. This was written with the apparent blessing of Mort Weisinger. But when someone higher up at DC found out about this plan, and that it was intended to be permanent, he ordered Bridwell and Weisinger to bring back the cousins. Sales, you know. So a "deus ex machina" ending was hastily concocted for #351, in which Color Kid changed the color of the kryptonite cloud from green to (IIRC) blue. Somehow, changing the color also changed the composition of the kryptonite so the kryptonite was not deadly to the Supes, and they could return to the team (which they did, of course)! Now, Color Kid's power had been previously defined as merely cosmetic...so you can bet there was an outcry from readers (in the letter pages) questioning this implausible outcome. DC had to scramble and came up with excuses (kryptonite behaves differently from other elements, etc.) IIRC a fan also asked why didn't Color Kid just change all the green k in the universe to a harmless color, and the answer was that it would use up his power or something like that. |
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Post by sharkar on Sept 16, 2007 20:15:11 GMT -5
Check out this list of useless super-heroes/powers (no, Aquaman is not on the list, but...well...check out who's #1) www.fanpop.com/external/12307Arm Fall Off Boy--a classic!;D And doesn't Vibe look like a Wonder Man clone? |
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Post by The Night Phantom on Sept 17, 2007 18:26:44 GMT -5
I mean, we're not talking Prismatic Spray here (who gets that one?) Prismatic Spray: 7th level dnd spell shoots out a fan of colors for various effects that are almost all bad for the target. spraying someone with one’s “prism” sounds like a candidate for Superdickery.com…  (Can a block of ice act as a prism?) |
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Post by balok on Sept 17, 2007 18:58:31 GMT -5
Somewhere I have a whole comic full of characters like this. A few I remember:
"Grow Arm Hair Lad" - could make his underarm hair grow (but had to carry a razor to resume his secret identity).
"Mad Man" - could become so angry, he became paralyzed with rage. Usually happened in bank lines or at the DMV.
"Pull Yourself Together Man" - could disassemble and reassemble his body into disgusting meaty bits (that had no abilities when disconnected). Usually he used this to gross people out.
There were a few dozen in the book.
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Post by The Night Phantom on Sept 17, 2007 19:40:53 GMT -5
Somewhere I have a whole comic full of characters like this. A few I remember: "Grow Arm Hair Lad" - could make his underarm hair grow (but had to carry a razor to resume his secret identity). "Mad Man" - could become so angry, he became paralyzed with rage. Usually happened in bank lines or at the DMV. "Pull Yourself Together Man" - could disassemble and reassemble his body into disgusting meaty bits (that had no abilities when disconnected). Usually he used this to gross people out. There were a few dozen in the book. It’s Kerry Callen’s Directory to a Nonexistent Universe, published 1987. A classic. The back of the Directory even has an eight-page story in which several of the characters are brought together. |
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Post by balok on Sept 18, 2007 18:19:45 GMT -5
It’s Kerry Callen’s Directory to a Nonexistent Universe, published 1987. A classic. The back of the Directory even has an eight-page story in which several of the characters are brought together. Yes! That's the one. Now if I could only figure out which box it's in... |
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Post by Crimson Cowl on Sept 20, 2007 12:29:08 GMT -5
How about Mantis's cosmic empathy schtick? 'Accept the word of one who has a vague feeling'.
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BigDuke
Reservist Avenger
Posts: 136
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Post by BigDuke on Sept 21, 2007 13:05:26 GMT -5
I have always found Matter Eater Lad to be a lame super hero concept. I remember one comic when I was a kid where he was about to take a bite out of a tree ... that happened to be the bad Chameleon Boy, causing him to surrender.
Can't sleep, teammate gonna eat me.
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steed
Reservist Avenger
Posts: 215
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Post by steed on Sept 21, 2007 13:17:54 GMT -5
You know, I always thought that Duo Damsel's powers were pretty lame unless of course you were out on a date.
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Post by Tana Nile on Sept 23, 2007 0:28:49 GMT -5
You know, I always thought that Duo Damsel's powers were pretty lame unless of course you were out on a date. That is such a 'guy' thing to say, but so funny! Probably because it's true. I always thought whether she was Duo Damsel or Triplicate Girl, she had no business in the Legion. "Look at me! I can become three non-super-powered people!!" |
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Post by Tana Nile on Sept 23, 2007 0:36:50 GMT -5
Prismatic Spray: 7th level dnd spell shoots out a fan of colors for various effects that are almost all bad for the target. Nice Fyrehand! Gold star for you. I knew at least one other person here must've played some D and D before... |
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Hourman
Probationary Avenger
Posts: 83
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Post by Hourman on Sept 24, 2007 10:13:45 GMT -5
There is a classic Legion of Substitute Heroes comic from the mid-80s, where Ambush Bug (yeah, he's just as lame, but he's a joke character) runs into them, and spends most of the issue cracking jokes about how lame they are.
AB: "And who are you?"
IL: "I'm Infectious Lass"
AB: "And what do you do?"
IL: "I make people sick..."
AB: "Oh, I see... Nice knowing you!"
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Hourman
Probationary Avenger
Posts: 83
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Post by Hourman on Sept 24, 2007 10:19:21 GMT -5
I have always found Matter Eater Lad to be a lame super hero concept. I remember one comic when I was a kid where he was about to take a bite out of a tree ... that happened to be the bad Chameleon Boy, causing him to surrender. Can't sleep, teammate gonna eat me. When they did a Legion reboot (with the split titles LSH and Legionnaires), M-E Lad was remade as sort of a "Issac-from-Love-Boat" character... he worked the bar and was a cook... providing jokes, knowing his power was pretty stupid. He wasn't a team member, but rather just a guy who was around the LSH HQ. The Legion was full of characters with strange powers... Chemical King: he could control chemical reactions. Ferro Lad: he could turn into iron. |
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Post by balok on Sept 24, 2007 10:23:31 GMT -5
The parody of the Legion in "Normalman" is hilarious - and all it is, is them calling attendance.
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Post by balok on Sept 24, 2007 10:24:51 GMT -5
Nice Fyrehand! Gold star for you. I knew at least one other person here must've played some D and D before... <Raises hand> I just didn't say anything 'cause Fyrehand got there first... |
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Post by Tana Nile on Sept 24, 2007 23:41:52 GMT -5
Nice Fyrehand! Gold star for you. I knew at least one other person here must've played some D and D before... <Raises hand> I just didn't say anything 'cause Fyrehand got there first... ah, yet another. I raise my +4 vorpal sword to both of you gentlemen!! ;D |
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